Better Marriage

This is a simple, short list of steps that is entitled "Steps to Keep from Divorce."  Although they might seem small and insignificant, if effort and desire are actually put forth into the steps, then they will come together as the "never failing formula for successful marriages."

1. Careful Selection
2. Great Unselfishness
3. Continued Courtship
4. Keep Commandments of God

The key to making these steps work is to constantly do the last three.  There does not come a point in life where we are able to say, "I have been unselfish for the last week, so now I am allowed to be as selfish as I want."  It may seem silly to say it, but we need to be constantly re-evaluating ourselves to make sure we continue to do the last three steps in our lives.

Happy Thoughts

None of us have control over the initial events that take place in our lives.  We do, however, have control over how we react to them and what events might follow due to our reactions.

The trick to having happy thoughts is to observe and describe events without judgement.

Kinds of Love

In the English language, there is only one word for love:  love.  There is no way to differentiate between different kinds of love.  Luckily, in Greek, there are different words to describe the different types of love that people feel for one another.  I think it is important to know and understand the different types of love.  That way there is less confusion.

Storge is the kind of love a parent has for their child.  It reflects commitment, responsibility, and connection.
Philia is the love between friends.  It is also known as brotherly love.
Eros is lustful, romantic, and physical love.
Agape is charity.  It is a general concern for all people, both those known and unknown.

Although these different types of love are quite spread out, I think it is important to have at least some of each kind in your life.  Even more important is that all of them are expressed and shown within a marriage relationship.

The Dating Filter

The person that someone marries only gets to that stage by going through the dating filter.  This filter is a way of eliminating all other possible marriage options.  These are the stages of the dating filter.

1. World Population
2. Propinquity (another term for proximity)
3. Physical Attractiveness
4. Similarities
5. Those Someone Dates
6. Person Someone Marries

The filter would thus look like this.

Interaction Theories

There are four main theories on why and how people interact with each other, especially in a family.  Those theories are as follows:

• Family Systems Theory - Everyone has a role they fill and follow the rules of the family, spoken and unspoken.
• Exchange Theory - Every action in life is based off of giving and taking what one needs or wants.
• Symbolic Interaction Theory - Each person understands symbols in their own way which can vary from how another person understands them.  These symbols can include words, body language, tone of voice, etc.
• Conflict Theory - Behavior is based off of competition or the natural man.  It is a competition of who gets the power.